IVF

I have been a very, very bad blogger. My apologies to anyone who is still out there attempting to read me.

Once again, my wife and I find ourselves at a crossroads of sort in this crazy land of infertility.

After another unsuccessful dIUI in April/May, we took a month off and travelled to Florida. Our first real vacation in a very long time. It was amazing. It was equally amazing not to have to think about early morning appointments, late night injections, IUIs and more.

When we got back, my wife met with the RE to discuss our next steps. Our last three dIUIs went well inasmuch as she responded well to the injections, multiple follicles were triggered, but alas, no pregnancy.

So, it was suggested we start considering IVF. And that's where we're at. Financially it will be a struggle so yet again we are on a break from treatments as we try and figure out funds to make this happen. My wife has also decided she wants to take this time to focus on weight loss and her overall health in the hopes of giving us an even greater chance of conceiving when the time comes.

Being the supportive guy that I am, I too am working right alongside her to exercise and lose a bit of weight. The fact that I was convinced to make a trip to the Dairy Queen last night not withstanding, we're doing pretty well. Can someone tell me how to resist when she bats those blue eyes at me? Anyone?!

So that's where we're at. While there won't be much going on in terms of treatments over these next few months, I hope to start blogging a little more and hope that you still want to follow our journey.

Hope that all of you out there in blogland are well.

Cheers to you.

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NIAW

Wow, has it been this long since I blogged? If any of you are still out there reading, I promise that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. In my blogging absence, my wife and I had another dIUI cycle which sadly resulted in a BFN. I'm embarrassed to admit that we're now at the point of triggering for this next cycle and she's heading in for a dIUI on Saturday morning.

But I'm back.

I was going to brag about my superior injection skills, because really, they are good. And hey, give a guy with no sperm a break. I need to be able to brag about something in the process of getting my wife knocked up, right?!

But this week marks National Infertility Awareness Week or NIAW for short. The blogosphere has been awash with some really amazing and honest posts about infertility. As we come to the end of the week, I thought that I might take a moment to share my thoughts.

To be honest, until my diagnosis, I'm not really even sure if I knew that guys could experience infertility. So to be diagnosed was an unwelcome slap of reality. Over 40% of infertility cases are male-related. Some male fertility issues can be corrected, others aided by medical intervention. Mine cannot. To face the knowledge that there is no chance of me ever fathering my own children naturally and an extremely small percent of a chance that I could do so with even the most advanced medical intervention is still hard to swallow. I won't pretend that I understand the longing that women have to be mothers. But I can tell you the longing that I have to be a father. It's like an unquenchable thirst, a desire to be something more than I am and share a love that I cannot even begin to articulate.

I know that the decision that my wife and I have made to pursue our family with the help of donor sperm would not be for everyone. I'm not wanting us to debate this here. I firmly believe that in this world of infertility we will all make different choices and the choices that we make are right for us. I have been grateful to receive support and not judgement in my brief blogging time. The infertility community has become a special place for me. It is where we lift one another up, cheer each other on, and hold each other close on the days when we feel most wounded.

As we embark on this next dIUI, I know with every fibre of my being that should we be lucky enough to receive positive news in a couple of weeks, that child will be as much a part of me as she/he is my wife's. 100% of my heart and soul goes into our child that could be.

As for our donor, and for all of the men and women who donate a part of themselves to help others achieve the greatest of dreams, on this NIAW I thank you.

Infertility has made me a very lucky man.

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March ICLW

A big hello to all of my regular blog readers and to those who might be stopping by via ICLW. Welcome! The long and the short: I'm an Irish guy married to a Canadian girl living here in the Great White North. I have azoospermia (no sperm); she has PCOS. Together we're attempting to start a family with the help of donor sperm and IUIs.

Unfortunately our last cycle resulted in a BFN so we're starting over yet again. The result of our last cycle was rather tough on the both of us. Everything came together so well, I'd be lying if I didn't confess that our hopes were definitely up.

But together we look towards the future and another opportunity to create the family we both want so very much. Here's hoping that this next cycle is the one. I make myself useful by giving the best intramuscular (I.M.) injections in town. It's true. The self-proclaimed "Injection Master" is back in the game, baby! Injections start up again on Wednesday.

Thanks for stopping by! I hope that you'll consider sticking around. My goal is to bring a male perspective to male infertility because I don't just get it, I live it. We definitely need more men blogging about this - here's hoping that I can support and maybe even inspire someone else to share their story.

Cheers and Happy ICLW!

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