In the Name of the Father: urologist

On Monday I had my visit with the urologist (whom I will call Dr. Balls for reasons that I'm sure are more than explanatory). As usual, we had to wait a bit to see Dr. Balls, he's a busy guy. But he's a good guy, so we were happy to wait.

While waiting, my wife and I played a game we like to call "Balls and Prostate" where we try and (quietly) guess who's at the urologist for what reason. Not that we ever get to find out if we're right. But it passes the time. I highly recommend it the next time you're waiting around at the urologist's office!

It's been just over a year since I had my varicocele surgery. Remember, varicoceles are large blood vessels that can essentially turn your balls into a hot tub for sperm. Not good. Bet your doctor never explained it that way! But you know me, keepin' it real on the male IF side of things.

Anyways, the surgery was always considered - for me - a long shot. To be clear, some of you guys out there may really benefit from this procedure and it could really change your situation so definitely listen and talk to your doctor. But in my particular case, Dr. Balls has not seen any significant changes.

So now my azoospermia has been classified as a result of testicular failure. Yes my friends, I am a failure. Or as my wife so kindly pointed out, "You're NOT a failure honey. Your balls might be, but never you." That's my girl!

I had to do more bloodwork to see where my hormone levels are at and I will have to do another semen analysis (SA) to see if any swimmers are in the pool. At that point, if we find any, we may start freezing them should we decide to go the route of ICSI. But until I do this next SA we won't even know if that's viable.

This probably sounds a lot more depressing than I'm feeling. I actually feel pretty good. We knew the surgery was pretty much a snowball's chance in hell for me, but at least we're not left wondering "What if?" Maybe we'll have one or two of the wee boys to freeze and potentially use to create family. Maybe we won't.

No matter what though, we will have our family some day. It may not be the "traditional" way but who cares. Maybe it's time we start defining new ways of creating family - be it IUI, IVF, ICSI, donor eggs or sperm, adoption, surrogacy, etc. - as the new traditional. Equally valid and full of potential blessings.

Just my $0.01 for the day. Cheers.

So what does a guy with male infertility look like?

Well, if you're a guy, take a look in the mirror - he could look like you. In other words, there's no particular 'type' that male factor infertility (MFI) strikes.

You could be short or tall. Fat or skinny. You could be athletic or not. Bald or sporting a full head o' hair. Maybe you wear glasses or contacts. Or not. You might be a little bit country or a little bit rock n' roll.

You get the idea.

What surprised me most about my visits to the urologist was just how many guys were there because of male infertility and how different we all were. No one attribute or characteristic linked us to one another.

I honestly expected to walk into a waiting room full of old men with prostate issues. Yeah, some of those guys were there too and not all of the young guys may have been there for fertility stuff but there were quite a few. Often accompanied by a female partner, looking anxious, just like us. And a little relieved when they too realized that they weren't the only ones out there dealing with this.

The IF guys were confirmed when we all fell into the assembly line of following each other down to the lab for blood work, then back to the urologist's office for further instructions, waiting one at time to be scheduled for ultrasounds and the like.

It was quite comforting in a really weird way. When I first got my azoospermia diagnosis, I honestly thought, "I am the only guy on the face of the planet who has absolutely no sperm."

It was only after that visit to the urologist and my subsequent forays on the Internet into the world of male infertility that I realized I wasn't the only guy out there.

This whole male IF thing wasn't exactly what I had in mind - but at least I know now it's not a club of one. And now you do too.