Thursday, April 29, 2010

Wow, has it been this long since I blogged? If any of you are still out there reading, I promise that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. In my blogging absence, my wife and I had another dIUI cycle which sadly resulted in a BFN. I'm embarrassed to admit that we're now at the point of triggering for this next cycle and she's heading in for a dIUI on Saturday morning.

But I'm back.

I was going to brag about my superior injection skills, because really, they are good. And hey, give a guy with no sperm a break. I need to be able to brag about something in the process of getting my wife knocked up, right?!

But this week marks National Infertility Awareness Week or NIAW for short. The blogosphere has been awash with some really amazing and honest posts about infertility. As we come to the end of the week, I thought that I might take a moment to share my thoughts.

To be honest, until my diagnosis, I'm not really even sure if I knew that guys could experience infertility. So to be diagnosed was an unwelcome slap of reality. Over 40% of infertility cases are male-related. Some male fertility issues can be corrected, others aided by medical intervention. Mine cannot. To face the knowledge that there is no chance of me ever fathering my own children naturally and an extremely small percent of a chance that I could do so with even the most advanced medical intervention is still hard to swallow. I won't pretend that I understand the longing that women have to be mothers. But I can tell you the longing that I have to be a father. It's like an unquenchable thirst, a desire to be something more than I am and share a love that I cannot even begin to articulate.

I know that the decision that my wife and I have made to pursue our family with the help of donor sperm would not be for everyone. I'm not wanting us to debate this here. I firmly believe that in this world of infertility we will all make different choices and the choices that we make are right for us. I have been grateful to receive support and not judgement in my brief blogging time. The infertility community has become a special place for me. It is where we lift one another up, cheer each other on, and hold each other close on the days when we feel most wounded.

As we embark on this next dIUI, I know with every fibre of my being that should we be lucky enough to receive positive news in a couple of weeks, that child will be as much a part of me as she/he is my wife's. 100% of my heart and soul goes into our child that could be.

As for our donor, and for all of the men and women who donate a part of themselves to help others achieve the greatest of dreams, on this NIAW I thank you.

Infertility has made me a very lucky man.


Anonymous,  April 29, 2010 at 1:59 PM  

I got all teary eyed reading this post <3 I sincerely hope and pray that you and FertilityChick get your BFP this time.

AmandaMqn April 29, 2010 at 3:16 PM  

Such an amazing post. I am hoping and praying that this is the cycle for you both!

~Jess April 29, 2010 at 3:29 PM  

Hear! Hear! It's a wonderful gift a stranger gives :-) Without them there would be no hope for some of us.

Wanza Leftwich, The Gospel Writer April 30, 2010 at 6:50 AM  

Many blessings to you!!

Michelle April 30, 2010 at 7:11 AM  

Thank you for sharing this deep & heartfelt post. You are a wonderful man & Fertility Chick is a lucky girl to have you.
Wishing you both the best in this upcoming cycle.

myinfertilitywoes April 30, 2010 at 7:16 AM  

Funny how your post came up and I thought 'who's this?' - it has been awhile but glad I somehow started following you a couple of months ago.

What an amazing post. Thank you for your insight & perspective. Your kids will be very lucky to have you!

Here's to hoping this cycle is the one for you guys!!

Nikki Lynne [waiting on baby] April 30, 2010 at 7:18 AM  

We also suffer from male-factor and use a donor sperm. We are so fortunate to have this option. We had our 2nd IUI this past Monday, so we are day 5 in our 2WW. Our Beta is 5/10. I send prayers your way for your BFP this month! We share the same journey.....:babydust:

Mrs. Pink Pearls April 30, 2010 at 8:10 AM  

Thank you so much for sharing this. It's nice to read from a males perspective. I wish there were more men like you. I will be praying for you and your wife!

Audrey April 30, 2010 at 5:49 PM  

I wish I could get my husband to read your blog... or at least just speak the word "infertility." Until then, I will keep reading. Believe it or not, a male point of view is really helping me cope since really no one in my non-virtual life is aware of my infertility.

Crossing My Fingers April 30, 2010 at 8:28 PM  

Great blog! If my husband knew how to turn on the computer, I'd have him read it! LOL Best of luck with the next dIUI!

Fran May 1, 2010 at 2:35 PM  

Mike and I wish you with all our hearts that this cycle will be the one. You are both in our thoughts! Fran

Baby On Mind May 4, 2010 at 5:10 PM  

Thank you for reminding us that men have to deal with their feelings from infertility too. And thank you for being a brave soul to speak up on behalf of men and our DHs.

Anonymous,  May 6, 2010 at 10:35 AM  

Rock on.

Admin May 7, 2010 at 10:09 PM  

Yeah I only thought women had to deal with infertility problems. I guess the tables have turned guys. For the men on here that are trying to conceive with their partner and would like to take a stab at it the "Natural" way you can check out or Google FetilAid Reviews.

Good Luck!

The Infertility Doula May 14, 2010 at 7:20 AM  

Great post. We also dealt with MFI, which I talked about recently on my blog. But I thought it would help to have a guy's perspective on that experience so I had my husband write a guest-blog as well. I think it's great that you're being so open about this difficult journey. Too many men stay silent. Hopefully they'll have a place to confide in in your blog.

Patrick B September 11, 2010 at 9:10 PM  

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